For most of my teen and adult life I have dealt with some level of depression and anxiety. With symptoms of overwhelming sadness, lack of self esteem, fear of the future, rumination of the past and much more I spent a lot of my time self medicating through drugs, alcohol and sex. I always had an overwhelming feeling of being different (and not in a good way) like I just didn’t quite fit in, I wasn’t normal.
After years of ups and downs, times of wellness and times of increased mental illness I was pretty attuned at acting as if and showing the world a good face. I could manage to stay put together for about 8 months at a time, work a job, take care of my family, and live some sort of what I deemed a normal life. This was always followed by a period of debilitation, a sick leave from work and a rebuild of my life. It wasn’t until I was 31 years old that I suffered my deepest depression and landed myself in a black hole that I could see no way out of.
In the 2 years following my official diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder with Mixed Episodes and Generalized Anxiety Disorder I built my stability from the ground up. Medication helped take the edge off to do the deep internal work that needed to be done, I attended too many counselling sessions to count, psychiatrist visits, group therapy, one-on-one therapy, peer led therapy, mindfulness therapy and the list goes on. I also took on some lifestyle habits in the process, walking in nature and a healthy eating plan that resulted in weight loss.
This was the start of my wellness journey and my diving deep into discovering truly who I am and what I wanted in my life.
I had a deep desire to be the best version of myself, to build a sustainable self care regime and never go back to that black hole that took hold of me in 2012. So I started to build my knowledge base, I devoured information, I made connections online and in my community, I built my routine and figured out strategies and supports to help me stay the course.
In the following years I have become a specialist in lifestyle changes that have impacted my overall health, wellness and mental health so deeply that I cant imagine my life without them. I am the happiest I have ever been, I live the most balanced life I have ever lead and it all comes down to making boundaries, having goals and taking the tiny baby steps every day to get there.
I now live my life from the “inside-out” I am truly happy with who I am and where I am in my life. I no longer live my life from the “outside-in” being derailed by every circumstance that I am faced with. It is truly a place of internal peace, and my goal is to share my knowledge with you so that you can find the same peace that I now have.